His name is Teodoro. He is 6 months old, and he is my dog. Hot dog dog's are such a contrary bunch. Yes, they’re cuddly and playful but I find that there’s a dark side to them sometimes. Teodoro will be lying by the fire on a winter’s night dreaming his doggy dreams when, suddenly, out of nowhere, he will emit a blood-curdling growl. He looks like Cujo when he does that, with his teeth bared and the hackles rising on his neck. I often wonder if he is chasing an imaginary rabbit or a burglar when he’s dreaming. Maybe it’s just the last remnants of wolfdom coming to the surface. He’s never exhibited aggression towards me but it would make one think all the same……. When he switches back to Labrador mode, he is quite the character. His eyes become mellow and warm again and they glow with a lagoon-blue sheen. He has great physical qualities also. His fur is burnished, almost coppery, and he bounces along with energy on those soft pads of his. Blessed with a streamlined tail for balance, he is the most hyperactive and agile dog I’ve ever befriended. He is an athlete, or thinks he is, when we take him to the park. His speciality is the discus (known as the Frisbee to us). It doesn’t seem to matter what angle you throw it to him. He will contort his body in all manner of impossible ways just to jump up and pluck it out of the air. My own opinion is that we should have a doggie Olympics to celebrate these wonderful specimens of the animal world. There is no doubt in my mind that they would, if given the choice, prefer it to being pawed by a bunch of strangers at Crofts. It must be so humiliating to be voted Best Dog in the World and to get a crumbly biscuit and a cruddy bunch of flowers that you can’t even pee on because they’re wrapped in plastic. Give ‘em a gold medal, I say, and damn the begrudgers. Dogs don’t want ivory–white teeth and manicured nails. They want to let out deep, throaty rumbles and a gold medal celebrating their 1st position as the apex predator. Someday some genius is going to invent a doggie translator. NASA probably has it already but must be keeping it for the dolphins. And do you know what the first doggie talker ever is going to say? He is going to put on a wounded tone and ask us: “What have you been DOING these last 7,000 years ?!!!” Then he is going to issue a list of demands. These are just the first three: 1. Stop breeding us to chase cats. It’s tiring. 2. Bones are irresistible but cause toothache in later life. Stop giving them to us. 3. We don’t require compliments because we don’t understand you. Just lash on a steak and give us a bunch of biscuits. We will get it. So the next time you look at your lithe, graceful Labrador, just remember; lose the flattery and fill his stomach. Maybe that’s why he’s been growling at the fire…..